Life As I t Has Been For ME
His Life
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DREAMER

The SMILE
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As I look around our city I see his hand in the construction of many buildings.  His brother, father and he worked for a construction company and I told them when they had grandkids, they could look around and show them what they had accomplished here on earth as builders.  They had a hand in shaping things as much as the other men.
He was a dreamer.  Of hopes of a better and easier way of life.  He cared.  He shared his life with us all even after he married his childhood sweetheart.  They were Soul-Mates.  We all believed this and still do.  Always was and always will be.  His wife and children are proof of a strong caring father and husband he is.  Even In death.
I thank him today and everyday for his honest, caring heart, love of his fellow man, and God, for allowing me to share his life.  For my son for helping me everyday to go on, even though I dont want to.

AS TIME GOES ON
I have learned no one is immune from life's challenges.  I have learned not to expect anything from anyone but yourself.  My day-by-day existence is do only to the fact that I have a trust in God.  It wavers, my faith.  I get mad.  I cry.  I read.  Everything from Life After Death to how to cope with loss.  I visit web sites about murdered children and loss of a child.  I talk to anyone who will listen.  Most have tired of this, but a few have remained to help me.  My daughter and grandson have helped me more than they will ever know.  We are in this together alone due to the fact that as I have read, families dont always stay together through the death of a loved one.  I had hoped this wouldnt happen to me, but it did.
My hope is that someday I will be reunited with my son.  I have only faith to cling to.  Without that I would be nothing.  I wouldn't have wanted to go on.  I have learned that no matter how many children you have.  Each and everyone is different and you love them equally, only in a different way.  This does not take away the love you have for the other children.  You still miss and grieve the one that is no longer with you in the physical sense.  I had hoped staying close to my sons family would help I pray daily that we will be together again.