POEMS

IN MEMORY OF MICHAEL V. MCDONNELL SR.

Stength to Go On

All the years we tried so very hard to make it right.

We kept on hanging in there, all fives us real tight.

As our middle one left to walk in the light.

You too, now have gone to be there with him.

You both gave it your all and put up a good fight.

Times are different now, where did my strength go to?

I try to find it in the the love our kids still feel

For the Father they always loved and still do.

When will the strength return, I do not know

I only know that when it came to hurting so much

I never realized the pain would hurt us all so.

I know you feel I will survive this time of pain and sorrow

I know you thought me stonger than I am showing now

Somedays I feel so alone in this crazy world you left me, to find a new tomorrow.

Can I make it without the pain and grief?

Or am I to be left floating on this place we call earth

Only to feel its a barrier like reef?

Survival was what I learned from you thoughout the many years

Can I do this with knowing I will not have you to turn to anymore even in the bad times we had?

How can I handle them with all my new found fears.

Help me from the farthest palce you are. You and Jimmy, please.

I know without you both, I can't go through anymore days knowing I am on my own, in my heart and in my fears.

Stand beside me as I travel once again down this path as you make it ease.

Thank you for the life you gave us all

Times were so uncertainan but we managed through it

All of us as the "fist" of five were to do and not fall.

If we ever had to do it over, I am sure we all would agree

It was nothing like we planned, but we got the stength from the "fist" because it was as strong as we made it like a mighty oak tree.

A family of five made the "fist" work through the good times an the bad.

Thank you for teaching us all that we can still feel the strength and power you gave us.

Its all we ever needed and all we ever had!

Broken Chain

We little knew that morning,
God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,
in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you,
the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories,
your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you,
you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again

Why does it still hurt so bad?

Why am I crying still?

Why can't I seem to move though this?

Was it for what we had?

I been this road before

I know the pain it entails.

Is my life going to be like this forever

Knowing there has got to be more?

Can I survive this pain and make it through this year?

Is it more than I can handle now

Feeling the loss so raw and new.

Or will I live this time in hurting fear?

Whispers of Love
By afire, JVP Op on 02/12/07

Whispers of Love

I see you when I open the closet door
Empty hangers where your life once hung
Empty shoes that litter the floor
So many songs still left unsung.

Dreams are crushed
Like light bulb glass
And the implosion
Floods our mind,
Is nothing sacred?
Our child dies
And we are left behind.

Part of my spirit left that day
To guide my son to the light
Part of my spirit left that day
When life grabbed my heart
And took a bite.

The heart is slow to heal
Its a muscle severely bruised
But for a muscle to recover
It needs only to be used

So allow your heart to shine
Wherever you may go
Let your heart beat rule the day
And allow the love to grow

Live love, be love, look for love
Imbue it in what you say
And even though our child died
The love does not go away.

It is then that our soul shall recover
And we can sigh without a cry
Knowing our child is right beside us
Their spirit didn't die.

They seek from us
What we seek in them
Just a moment
To be as one again

They have the need just as we
To feel that love
That tingles the soul,
A connection made, a circuit complete
In our togetherness we are the whole

Whispers of love are everywhere
My lost child now is found
And although his body is forever gone
My soul can hear his song

Music to my ears
When he leaves a penny on the floor,
An orchestra in my heart
When he whispers through the door.

Turn the light on, turn it off
He speaks to me in metaphor
Using what ever that he can
To let me know that there is more

There is more to life than life
Death is not an end
And I find comfort
In the messages; whatever he can send.

Spirit lives on as pure energy
Its in our hearts we find the switch
To turn on that connection
And receive that special gift.

Knowing that love is eternal
And that life is just a dance
Will not provide answers to the whys
But can give us a second chance

To chance to say what's in our hearts
And to listen with our soul
Finding solace in a dialogue
No one else could know

Whispers of love
Are just that,
Gentle murmurs
We hear in our despair
And we know deep in our soul that love never dies
- our child is always there.